Karen K Alger

Karen K. Alger 

September 19, 1946-December 9, 2022

My mother was not the perfect “soccer game” model mother, but she is still my mother.  Born to her mother (Lily) Virginia Kitchen and her father, James Taylor Kitchen III, she also had an older brother, Gary Stephen Kitchen (Steve) who preceded her in passing March 26, 2021.

Mom had many fears and did not socialize well.  She was sheltered by her parents, especially her mother. She took piano lessons as a youngster and she had many skills which she called her “splinter skills”, She attended business college briefly, and worked as a clerical worker briefly at the state house in Indianapolis, IN, 

She met and married my father Frank Leon Alger at Irvington Presbyterian at the age of 19.  (She would have said approximately because I believe the year was 1966, but she might have been 20 already, making it 1967.) He was about 26.  I was born in 1975.  They divorced when I was 9 years old. She converted to Catholicism in the early 1970’s and even learned to play organ at Little Flower Roman Catholic Church where she played for the Saturday masses for many years.  After the services, she would often take the initiative to play music by Johann Sebatian Bach (although it was not  encouraged by the music director). 

She was very academically inclined and learned several languages in written form including French, Italian, Greek, and her favorite, Latin.  She would translate her bible into Latin and vice versa in her later years.  She had an unsurpassed fixation on English language usage, often correcting herself and others in mid-sentence by constantly checking the dictionary for the meaning, spelling, and pronunciation of words.  Her favorite word to describe everything was “ approximate(ly)” She sewed her own dowdy, but original clothing on a sewing machine, and also crocheted afghans, and scarves for the family.  

Approximately every year, Grandma and Grandpa Kitchen would receive a new scarf or afghan for birthdays and/or holidays.  She also took up basic quilting and created unusual creations such as artificial flowers made from various colors of trash bags, and collages from newspapers.  She always enjoyed crosswords, sudokus, and logic puzzles. Her lack of socialization led her not to pursue working in gainful employment, though she often bragged that it was a full time job raising me (with the help of my grandmother), and handling two paper-routes with East Side Herald, while I was in high school which she delivered without use of a car, instead she delivered with the use of a personal grocery cart.  She never learned how to drive because she had difficulty taking verbal instructions and was fearful of vehicles anyway. She saved me from choking when I was a toddler as well.   

She also prided herself on honesty.  She would often return tree limbs and long “lost” articles found in her yard to neighbors, who sometimes were not appreciative.  Also her efforts to return a ten cent overage in her bank account to the bank was not appreciated, though her returning a tool chest in front of her house was appreciated.  

Her devotion to the Catholic church defined her and she would often comment she was scared of everything but God.  She tithed 10 percent of whatever she had to Little Flower church, and gave her stored up newspapers to the Little Flower school paper drive via grocery cart. She was a devout lay member of the Third order of St. Francis of Assisi and wanted to write an opera in his honor, but her piano went grossly out of tune over the years before she went into nursing home care due to dislocation of her right shoulder, and a shattered humerus.. She was very fearful of medical intervention and had it not been that the injury could lead to her not playing piano, she would not have sought any medical attention. 

She was then diagnosed with mental illness at the nursing home, and stayed for a few months until she developed an infection. She would have suffered more if she remained treated, and if she survived she would be on dialysis and a trach so I had her removed to hospice. However, while she was in process of passing she told me she loved me, and described seeing a passed on relative and Grandma (who she said was “very old”)  Somehow I knew through our spiritual connection that she needed Catholic Last rites (Anointing of the Sick) in order to pass on to everlasting life.  She had an obstinateness all through life, and I could tell she was holding on stubbornly even though that whole time she was lacking in consciousness.  The church pastor came on short notice to anoint her and she passed very shortly after.  

Somehow, I can’t have any regrets for her life or passing and my father, Frank was there to comfort me.  I have complete faith that she went to heaven where there is no more emotional or physical pain or suffering.  

Deb Alger (her only, but not lonely child)

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

To send flowers to the family or plant a tree in memory of Karen K Alger, please visit our floral store.